Right now, the book is on display alongside other Lunar New Year-themed books and I hope that the stores would do the same around Rosh Hashanah in the fall. After all, there are few books featuring mixed faith families centring Rosh Hashanah and other New Years. EVERYTHING out there is about celebrating Christmas and Chanukkah! I haven’t even seen Eastover books (I may or may not be writing one in the future. I definitely plan on writing more Tory & Andy books!)!

Have you read Our Three New Years! yet? Do you/your kids like it?

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So where can you get the book? On FriesenPress’s store, for one…to read the rest, please go to my Substack!

The post I’m Now A PUBLISHED Children’s Author!! appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

This story could easily have been called Samosa, Ravioli, Pierogi or even Chocolate Chip Cookies or Apple Pie. In other words, it could have been about ANY culture. And I like that. There’s a lot of focus on “diversity” these days, but often, it seems really fake. It’s like, you HAVE to have a white character (usually not ethnic-specific…I mean, where are the characters of say, Italian, Polish or Irish heritage? I don’t see a lot of that, especially Italian or Polish. Sorry, I went to Catholic school for a few years), one black character and another, Asian? And why, with the non-white characters, do they have to emphasize the ethnic/cultural heritages of said characters? Maybe it’s just my circle, but Asians with names like Sophie, Jessica and Michael are more common than names from their ancestral heritages. Many people from my generation can barely read/write their ancestral languages, so why would they only use a cultural name for their child? It rings false to write names out phonetically when you can barely write it (if at all) in its original language if it does not use the roman alphabet (it’s different for a non-Spanish or Italian speaker to name their child Maria). That said, my son has both a “western” name and one in Chinese – one in which I can actually read and write. The latter is not on his official documents. Yet, those involved in adding diversity to books, television shows, movies and so forth seem to be adamant in making it that way. Why? Are children REALLY seeing themselves if it’s done that way? Plus they seem to be very focused on first generation – you know, with parents from the old world.

I think universality, a story like Bao, is much more realistic. It might be presented a certain way, with characters of ONE culture, but it’s easy to relate to if you’re NOT from that background. Think (if you’re NOT looking at something focused on children) My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Diversity isn’t only about seeing/reading about characters that LOOK like you, it’s about characters you can RELATE to. It makes zero sense to me if there’s an Asian character in a book or screen, but they are, I don’t know, a punk rocker who is fifth generation Canadian and has lived on her own since she was 15 years old. I wouldn’t get it. I might find her story interesting, but she has nothing to do with what I can relate to. I probably find more to relate to reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (one of my favourite books, by the way) – Francie Nolan’s determination and drive is what many girls should strive to be like. I can probably relate MORE to a 1950s boarding school student who is a second or third generation student at his school. The problem is, many people who want more diversity don’t seem to understand that. They dismiss that. I see it everywhere. And I think it’s sad.

I’m not saying that it’s not important to have characters from a wide range of ethno-religious-cultural backgrounds, I’m just saying that they shouldn’t always make it so stereotypical, so CULTURE FOCUSED. I actually think that, if not done carefully (like they did in Bao), can send out the wrong message. The longer people are here, the more integrated they become – while still retaining portions of their own culture. I’m not really understanding WHY it’s necessary to discuss and focus ONLY on the first generation. Not every person of ABC heritage knows how to, say, make dishes from that culture, for example. Rather, even if they DID – to an extent – they might include elements of flavours from cultures they grew up with. Something like that would be more relatable to someone whose parents are children of immigrants. Unfortunately, that’s not what publishers likely want. In fact, some diversity activists would say that the author who wrote that book needs to be “decolonized.” However, I think that story has more universality – which IS important in an increasingly diverse world – than focusing on the first generation’s culture. It eventually won’t be realistic. Cultures evolve, even in the old world.

Universality is important, regardless of what the background of a character is. I really can’t understand why the big focus is ONLY on one’s appearance. The tendency to “over-fix” diversity these days becomes too fake, too idealized, and, honestly, annoying. It’s like how I’ve (along with fans of the original) been rolling my eyes at and hate-watching And Just Like That…(you can read my post on the show here). To be honest, I’ve stopped hate-watching. I’m sure you can guess why.

Maybe I just live in a different world. But people have to understand that my so-called “world” is still a kind of reality. And it’s highly unfair to dismiss that. Of course, I’m pretty much preaching to a choir. Because people who speak from this perspective are few and far between. Mostly because we fear being cancelled.

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The book is a memoir, written in vignettes, in alphabetical order, no longer than a few pages in length – all a look into Liz’s life. Each is represented by a word. It’s also a deep look into what it’s like to live with mental illness and how it affects family. While I expected the book to be rough, I didn’t expect it to be THAT rough. Mental health truly affects the entire family – immediate and extended – not just the individual. There were a few sequences where Liz describes in great detail, including one where Tamara and her mom met at a coffee shop and she started screaming at her. It must have been so difficult for their mother.

Tamara’s death affected Liz very differently from the death of her childhood friend (and first love/boy she kissed), Judson. Judson went to the boys’ school next door and was a son of a family friend (from what I gathered). While they did date, they weren’t meant to be – Judson eventually came out. Unlike Tamara, Liz was more prepared for Judson’s death as he had cancer. But still, it was a loved one and this impacted her greatly. The two of them had a tradition every December – they called it the “Jewboree” – ….. and the Boxing Day after his death, Judson’s brother, Josh, showed up at Liz’s family home. Because of Josh’s resemblance to his brother, it was as if she was seeing him…a mirage.

A few of the vignettes stood out for me. One was called “High School.” Liz goes back to her alma mater where a friend of hers was being honoured with an award. At the event, Liz notices a few tables of women nearby. It is filled with women celebrating their 20 year reunion – Tamara’s class. My class. She said many of the women seemed to have noticed her, but no one said anything TO her. It was too awkward. I was there. I was one of those women who didn’t say thing (if I even saw her at all). And Liz, I publicly apologize on behalf of myself and the 98ers if this had been the case. Or maybe we just didn’t see you at all. We were probably too busy taking selfies or pictures at the photo booth. Others were hilarious (and a welcome change to an otherwise depressing topic), including one entitled “Rabbi” – an Orthodox rabbi led (is this the right term?) shiva at her mom’s home. Liz and (most of) her family are not religious, yet, this guy was there, leading shiva. The rabbi was making her mother uncomfortable. He said he was there for a brother, who had since become religious. To kick him out, she gave him the tightest of hugs, including a bit of a…shimmy…that probably scared the living daylights out of him as many very religious Jews did not touch members of the opposite sex they were not related to. Liz’s father later said the guy probably went home to take a “scalding hot bath” to get rid of the sinful encounter!

I liked how Liz weaved a bit of humour (like the rabbi story) into such tragic circumstances. It made the book easier to read, especially when it involves some people you know. I found out about the book on an Old Girl Facebook group and because I want to support fellow Old Girls, bought the book almost immediately. It’s also a quick read, and, in fact, can be read out of order (though you might need to be familiar with some of the people she talks about). It was also an education for me, on how mental health can affect an entire family. While I’m an ally and advocate on mental health awareness, I wasn’t aware on what kind of toll it can take on a family, even after a child becomes and adult and moves out on her own. Liz’s parents, siblings and even Liz herself were all affected. And the family, being as privileged as they are, were STILL unable to help her. And while Judson’s death also affected Liz, it definitely didn’t the same way Tamara’s did.

I know I’m a little late posting this review. I read the book back in the summer and now it’s November. But as a mental health advocate – and a person who sees a therapist – it’s important to be open about issues and to help people understand that being “sick” isn’t just a physical thing. I come from a culture which not only believes that depression doesn’t exist, but also that admitting you need help from a mental health perspective means something is “wrong” with your family, not only in the past, but the future as well (okay, mental health is often genetic, but still. To say that you’re “ruined” and that you’re “losing face” seems wrong – and make the situation even worse). I just hope that more people discuss how mental health affects not only them, but their family as well. And that more people, regardless of heritage, we need to be more open and discuss how it not only affects those of us who have “issues,” but for family members to talk about how it affects them. I certainly hope that things will change quickly and that people will become more accepting of this as being a health issue. We’re more accepting of cancer now. Why can’t we be for mental health? Especially these days?

The post Books: Nobody Ever Talks About Anything But the End appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

When I first heard about the Netflix series, I was SURE that it would be a period piece, set in the 80s or 90s – who would hire 12 or 13 year olds to sit for their kids these days, anyway (even if they knew them well, which seemed to be the case. Everyone knows EVERYONE in Stoneybrook!)? Nope, it’s definitely in the 21st century, pre-COVID days. They made some changes to the story. For example, Dawn is no longer a California blonde, but Latinx. And her parents divorced because her dad came out. I guess we won’t have a stepmom, but a stepdad! And Mary Anne is half Black, half Caucasian. I guess it makes sense – her dad, Richard, was extremely strict with her and forced her to wear her hair in braids until the fourth book. Perhaps he didn’t know how to talk to her about discrimination nor did he know how to care for Black hair. Claudia is still of Japanese heritage, but Mimi, Claudia’s grandmother, is no longer an immigrant. Instead, as a child, she was one of many Japanese Americans who were sent to internment camps during World War Two. Kristy is Kristy, Stacey from NYC is still Stacey (and has Type 1) and we barely met Mallory (no more glasses, though) and Jessi (still a dancer, of course). Oh, and spoiler alert…Jenny no longer exists. Instead, the character has been replaced by Bailey, a trans kid on episode 4 (Mary Anne Saves the Day)

Am I a fan of these changes? Mostly, yes. It did need to have some updating. However, I would have preferred that they changed Stacey’s ethnic background rather than Dawn’s. Dawn will forever be the California blonde for me. I didn’t mind the gay dad part nor did I care that Mimi was born in the US. In fact, NOT making her an immigrant was a welcome change. It shows that Asian immigration goes way back, and it isn’t more of a recent, post 1960s kind of thing (especially when one is of Japanese heritage).

The diversity of the show’s cast (Dr. Johannsen is now Black and her daughter, Charlotte is Asian (was Charlotte adopted? I don’t think I recall that)) is further enhanced in the series, but it doesn’t deter from the original spirit of the books. The original books were fairly diverse for its time, and unlike other books, shows or movies, it never REALLY affected how readers related to the characters. Their ethnicities were just part of THEM. You didn’t have to be Asian to relate to Claudia nor did you have to be a redhead to understand Mallory. If you were a horse girl, you probably liked Mallory. Strict parents? Definitely Mary Anne (yep!). Chronic illness? Stacey (same). As someone on a message board I post on said, “You either related to them or wanted to be like them, and you wanted to be friends with them. You could feel like you’d be accepted in their group, no matter who you were.” There were no strict guidelines nor did people look at you funny because you didn’t “look” like a character, yet wanted to be her. You don’t get much of that these days, with cancel culture and all that.

I loved how the books dove into more serious topics that other YA books never did. They looked into grandparents getting ill (Claudia and Mean Janine), looking after kids with special needs (Jessi’s Secret Language and Kristy and the Secret of Susan), a parent’s job loss (Poor, Mallory) as well as racism (Keep Out, Claudia!). It was real life, yet still a fantasy world. And yeah, it was very much a part of my childhood. Normally, it takes me a week to go through an entire series on Netflix or Prime. BSC? I was done by Monday.

I hope there’s a season two. But who knows, now that shooting has been postponed due to COVID? And these kids are going to age out of the characters they’re playing – the girls stayed 13 after the first few books in the series. Which books do I want to see turned into shows? Claudia and the Bad Joke, The Ghost at Dawn’s House, Mary Anne and the Great Romance and Logan Likes Mary Anne!. I DO NOT want to see Claudia and the Sad Goodbye. And Karen is SO ADORABLE that she needs a spin-off series!!

I’m seriously not going to be surprised if people who binged on the series were NOT kids, but Xennials! Who DIDN’T want her BFF to be at least one of the seven? And did anyone want to have a boyfriend like Bart or Logan? Even though Kristy and Mary Anne were both way, way too young to have one? Stoneybrook was our fantasy world when we weren’t doing homework, playing piano, going to Brownies, etc, etc…I mean, that was what things were like for me!

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When I first heard about Kevin Kwan’s debut novel, I was excited to give it a read. Growing up, the vast majority of fiction with Asian characters focused on an older generation of Asian immigrants – ones who lived in Chinatown – or historical fiction. Few were about modern-day lifestyles. While Crazy Rich Asians certainly does not deal with a typical middle class family in Asia or North America, it does take a different, fresh approach – something rarely seen in English language Asian American literature.

Cynthia’s copy of Crazy Rich Asians (hardcover, originally released in 2013)

The story centres around Rachel Chu, a middle class Chinese American woman and her boyfriend, Nick Young, who is not just “wealthy,” but a descendant of an “old money” family. When Rachel accompanies Nick to his home in Singapore, she in for a shock of her lifetime. The extravagant lifestyles of the residents, from “it” girls to gossip rags (in Singapore and Hong Kong, at least, these publications don’t just focus on movie stars and musicians, but “socialites” as well), from designer fashion shopping sprees (even private shopping!) to private jets to random trips to Macau (Asia’s Las Vegas) and Hong Kong, it is not something that Rachel has ever seen in her life – a definite culture clash. Until their arrival in Singapore, Nick had largely kept his family’s wealth quiet. And it’s no wonder – his mother, Eleanor, doesn’t think her son is with the “right” sort of girl (i.e. not from the “right” family, did not go to the “right” school, etc…).

Though a bit exaggerated, Crazy Rich Asians also gives some insight not just into wealthy Singaporean culture, but of the region in general (including Hong Kong). For example, there is an importance of family and maintaining “face,” and the characters throw in some Cantonese, Malay, Hokkien and Mandarin colloquialisms (don’t worry, Mr. Kwan included footnotes). At the same time, there’s a great deal of over-consumption and, of course, colonial influences of the region – it actually makes me wonder if no matter how wealthy the Chinese in Singapore are, in the back of their mind, there’s still a bit of an inferiority complex which leads to the above-mentioned over-consumption and snobbery. One has BE over-the-top to make others aware of them.

In all, the novel was a good, mindless read and definitely an eyeopener or perhaps, surprising, for those who are not familiar with the culture. On the other hand, those who do know the culture will nod in familiarity at various anecdotes that the author alludes to throughout the story.

The post Repost from DelectablyChic!: Crazy Rich Asians: Extravagant, Over-the-Top, Yet Fresh Look appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

Ms. Dauxerre’s book

As you can see, modelling is far from glamorous.  In fact, it can be downright cruel.  We all know that models are often not treated very well, but how badly are they treated?  Often they had to wear shoes much too small for them – Ms. Dauxerre had to walk wearing shoes two sizes too small!  Talk about blisters!  Ms. Dauxerre also had an awful allergic reaction after wearing a designer’s clothes – to the point that she wasn’t able to audition the following day.  And keeping within the size a designer is looking for not only means dieting to the point that one is much too small for one’s height, but there are restrictions on the amount of exercise (basically zero) as well – at least according to the book.  Muscles aren’t considered feminine looking, according to the book (wait, do these designers know my maternal grandmother??!!!).  Then there are the super-early shoots, temperature issues during shoots and, of course, the lack of food.  Or decent food.  Even if models are fed (say, at a preview for media), they are often not given the same type of food as guests.  Ms. Dauxerre also talks about pay and how models are often “paid” in clothing rather than money itself.

This book definitely serves as a warning to young women (and men, too) who want to become models.  It’s not how it’s portrayed in movies and television.  And definitely not something parents should really encourage their kids as something to pursue.  Unless, of course, changes are made.  Changes such as sample sizes.  If models need to be very tall, then wouldn’t it be better to have larger sample sizes?  At 5’10”, one will appear to be just as proportionately thin in a size 8 as a petite woman (who is, say, 5’2″ or 5’3″) who wears a size 0 or 2.  And the runway “ideal” of not being muscular or athletic doesn’t “fit” the Hollywood ideal either – the “fit” look has been “in” for YEARS.  Wonder Woman was NOT the catalyst!  If designers complain about having to dress larger sized celebrities like Melissa McCarthy, then shouldn’t they also do so for smaller actresses or musicians (I find that body image activists forget this too.  I have reminded them numerous times, yet they seem to either forget or even dismiss my comments.  I guess they don’t want to hear anything from a smaller woman)?  The non-muscular look is not exactly the ideal.  And I have also never heard designers complain about having to dress shorter people.

One thing that needs to be noted is that Ms. Dauxerre was modelling some seven or eight years ago and things have improved…slightly.  For example, models in France must now present medical notes indicating they are not too thin to work.  However, we often hear that designers STILL refuse to use a broader range in sizing.  Is it really that difficult to change?  Or, if they DO prefer to use smaller sized individuals, just use shorter models.  The only reason why agencies are full of very tall, very young and very thin models is because that’s what they have on their roster – because that’s what designers are looking for.  It isn’t up to the agencies and scouts, it’s up to the designers.  And if a designer can dress the very petite Lady Gaga (5’1″ or so), they can dress Chrissy Metz from This is Us.  Oh, and please treat models better.  Feed them.  Give them a place to sit while they’re waiting.  Let them warm up if the location is too cold.  AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE, PAY THEM!!!  Like REAL MONEY.  Because complimentary clothes, shoes and bags don’t pay the rent.  They only clog up closets.

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