Over the years, I’ve discovered many other petite bloggers, like Jean Wang (who used to blog under the name, Petite Asian Girl). People like Jean became true blue influencers, even appearing in campaigns for stores like LOFT. I didn’t have that kind of luck, but I STILL stand by the fact that height doesn’t really take much of

We can’t ignore the fact that the fashion world completely dismisses height. Sure, you have petite sections in stores like Banana Republic and Ann Taylor, but they tend to be at the back corner section (and fairly hidden online. They don’t get their own section on the top menu while plus does). Department stores are either getting rid of (some got rid of petites a long time ago) or combining petite sections with regular – a big mistake, in my opinion. I get that they believe it makes people feel more “included” – but that’s really more for a size (as in number or letter) issue, not height. When you’re in a hurry, you’re NOT going to be looking for the letter “P” next to a size, you’re just going to be looking for the number itself. Petites, unlike plus, need their own section and it needs to be better promoted. But like us in general, our voices are dismissed. Maybe tall people just can’t see us (though I know of a very petite size inclusivity activist who only half acknowledges (if at all) the issue).

It’s vital that ALL issues relating to inclusivity be taken seriously and equally. But they’re not. Sometimes, activists will say that they acknowledge them, but in reality, it’s really a dismissal. The question here is why? Especially when SO MANY CELEBRITIES ARE UNDER 5’4″! So you’re not going to acknowledge (and I hesitate to mention her) Kim Kardashian? Reese Witherspoon? Both are around 5’2″ from what I understand. I get that Kim isn’t known for being super-sophisticated, but STILL. They are there, and they seem to pull red carpet looks off well.

So here’s what I don’t understand. As short people, our proportions are different from those who are taller. If designers are able to custom/tailor/make gowns look amazing on a 5’3″ celebrity, why can’t they make RTW clothing for us? Why are we stuck, at best, with mall brands who either regulate things online (just like plus) or in a corner of the store? And at worse, they’re boxy clothing that even women over a certain age (and at 40, I suppose I’m AT that age (or close to it)) won’t touch. And that’s considering how they complain or make excuses about not being able to make things look good on larger people.

For regular store brands, including aspirational lines, premium denim and the like, yes, proportion is an issue. I was at a store recently, trying on a pair of jeans. The pair of jeans was labelled a 24 waist and was supposed to be “super skinny.” Tried it on, and not only was it at least half a size too big (not surprised – premium denim, which typically uses waist measurements, vanity sizes just as much as mall brands), but it certainly wasn’t “super skinny.” It was also pulled up a little higher than it probably should be, showing that the rise is not quite proportioned for someone who is 5’2″ or so with a shortish torso.

So what does the above paragraph mean? That designers who are saying that it’s “hard” to proportion things for larger clients (and thus won’t make anything over a certain size) are okay with people who are my size? It’s technically MORE DIFFICULT to proportion things for US, regardless of height! It isn’t just hemming, after all. This SHOWS that it’s about aesthetics. People my size are more “appealing” to look at based on social conditioning. DUH.

Anyway, as I’ve said time and time again for over a decade, I REALLY WISH body image/size inclusivity activists would look at height issues more seriously. Even if they “acknowledge” the issue by telling us to our faces, they seem to “forget” about us in less than a second. We’ll still be regulated to the back corner or online if no one does anything. It’s a fresh new decade, so let’s make the 2020s about height as well.

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This comes both from relatives and strangers.  When I got married, my mother asked me why we signed up for a registry when cash is typically the gift of choice on both sides.  We did because we’re “from here,” and because our friends are going to ask where we registered.  We are going to do the same if we ever have children (my mom already suggested that we don’t register because we’ll be getting cash from family.  Ummm, so what about FRIENDS???!!!  What’s funny is that I always thought my parents were better integrated than many other immigrants, partly because they worked outside of the community).  Then there was what I call the “ladies’ locker room incident.”  A 60-ish woman told me she was going to a baby shower for a mom-to-be who from her husband’s office.  She said she was “surprised” that the mom-to-be okay with a shower because “Asian cultures, like Jewish cultures, believe showers are bad luck.”  I told her that it sounds like the mom-to-be grew up in Canada (at least in part), and is integrated into Anglo culture.  She just rolled her eyes, as if it was “wrong” and that it shouldn’t happen.  I wonder if SHE has kids and if THOSE kids are being thrown (or were thrown) baby showers.  Another experience was what I call “the campaign office incident.”  A guy with a Caribbean-sounding accent came up to me and told me that he’s “glad to see” someone like me (i.e. Asian) help out with a Conservative candidate (this occurred more than 10 years ago).  Whaaaa?  Does it even matter?  #justsayin

I actually feel sorry for those who don’t integrate well – it seems so isolating.  My maternal grandmother was one of those people.  She never really learned to speak English – she spoke JUST ENOUGH to pass her citizenship, yet never really figured out why Canadians “do” certain things.  She kept on telling me how not to be like those “bad Canadian (read: white) girls” who go to school dances and on dates before finishing high school (note:  I was so nervous about becoming a “bad girl” that I didn’t go to my first school dance until Grade 10).  As we lived in the suburbs and my grandmother never learned to drive, life was fairly isolating (unless it was somewhere she could walk to) until my grandfather retired and was able to take her to see friends or run errands.  However, not everyone is lucky like that.  And if you live in an area without good public transportation, you are pretty much housebound.  At least Cantonese language TV shows were available by the 1980s (for those who speak/understand the language, yet didn’t have the privilege like my grandmother).  However, watching TV all day is no fun and why I think at least LEARNING one of our official languages (or at least TRYING to do so) is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.  And what if such services aren’t available in your language?  Imagine how THAT would be.  I suppose some activists don’t understand either.  Instead, they feel that “integrating” = “losing touch” with one’s culture.  They don’t seem to realize that integrating can be about survival, not to mention one’s mental health.

Survival, of course, isn’t the only issue.  Not learning the language and customs (which one doesn’t necessarily have to follow) leads to ignorance and misunderstanding – on the part of the newer person and those of us who have been here longer/born/raised here.  The inability to communicate and explain these differences – and how/why things are done – might lead to more discussion and the opening of people’s minds, for both parties (not to mention decreasing stress levels of children/grandchildren of immigrants).  We need more of that these days.

Image credit: karen roach/ShutterStock

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