The post Old Post from DelectablyChic!: Casualization of the Wardrobe and Apologizing for What I Wear appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.
]]>When I was in my early 20s, people would often ask why I was “so dressed up” and it got really annoying. As if it’s really weird to wear dresses and heels on a weekend. It still happens once in a while now that I’m in my 30s, but never in my area – I live in a part of Toronto where people tend to look “nice” – and the sloppy/over-casual people are probably tourists. I liked dressing up then and still do, especially in the summer and really, I blame the questioning on the so-called “casualization” of society. It’s part of that package where young children are addressing their parents’ friends by first name (sorry, kids under 12, you have to call me Mrs. Mintz, Ms. Cheng Mintz, Ms. Cynthia or Auntie Cynthia until I say that it is okay to call me just plain Cynthia. Actually, PARENTS, please introduce me as one of the four), the world of slouchy pants on males over 25 and so forth. I really shouldn’t have to apologize for this!
A typical Saturday outfit
For young people, it’s only getting worse (I mean, take a look at this article from the Huffington Post – sensationalist, perhaps, but someone MUST believe in this). I wore a uniform in high school which included a button down blouse that had to be worn tucked in to my skirt (pants were later implemented as an option), a tie, tights or knee socks and black oxfords. Because so many of us didn’t tuck in our shirts, more recently, the school changed the tops to something that didn’t require tucking and was shorter. Many other schools did the same thing – except they went from dress shirts to polo/golf shirts. When worn with pants or kilts, it can look AWFUL. The kids look like complete slobs and would have been given a talking to in the 90s. I’m not the only one who has complaint. I once volunteered with an organization where a guy said that the kids at his high school alma mater look significantly sloppier than they did when he was there. All because of the more casual uniform. Oh well, I guess it’s welcome to the 21st century, sadly.
So this brings me back to the original topic. Because people are so brainwashed to wearing casual clothing (thanks to people like Mark Zuckerberg, known to wear hoodies to work), wearing anything neater than a sloppy t-shirt with jeans, muscle shirts, crop tops, etc… is considered “dressed up.” And it is sad. It does nothing to prepare young people for the “real world” – especially if they aspire to work in a professional, office setting. And because they’re so exposed to looking like they’ve just rolled out of bed (or heading to the club – that is the OTHER extreme), they will be in for a shock. And no one is preparing them for ANYTHING. How sad.
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]]>The post There’s Nothing Wrong with ‘Ma’am’! appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.
]]>Some women say it makes them feel old. Sorry, but being called “ma’am” shouldn’t do that and I think you must have some weird self-confidence issues if you do because I don’t see anything age-related to such a reference. Others say it has to do with sexism – kind of like using the antiquated “Mrs. Husbandsfirstname Husbandslastname.” I don’t see that either. I don’t see how “ma’am” (or madam – okay, maybe “madam” can have negative connotations due to you-know-what, but still…) is any different from being a “Ms.” similar to the male equivalent of “Mr.” I mean, if men are addressed as “sir,” and are okay with it, then shouldn’t we all feel the same about “ma’am?” Again, it’s about respect, and until we can find an equivalent for both “ma’am” and “sir,” we just have to stick with the two.
Of course, this might have to do with our increasingly casual society, where honorifics, like RSVP-ing (a survey recently found that 38% of Americans don’t think RSVPs are necessary anymore (and I don’t think it’s all that different in Canada)) and dress codes are no longer “required.” Pardon my language and rudeness, but WTF??!!!!! Why DO we feel this way? I don’t really don’t understand HOW it makes some people – particularly women – feel uncomfortable and WHY it makes people think it’s sexist. This is especially the case for those who believe being called “Ms.” is okay. If you’re fine with that, why aren’t you okay with “ma’am?” As I said earlier, it’s neutral and doesn’t show whether you’re married or not. I don’t even know WHY it ages you. I assume you want to be called “Miss?” Very young women (like someone who appears to be under 25) and girls are called “Miss.” Miss is someone you card when ordering alcohol! Besides, there’s no real male equivalent (unless you’re talking about Miss Lastname. The male equivalent would be Master Lastname – an honorific which is somewhat antiquated. My peers only know the title from watching Fresh Prince).
I know I can come across as old fashioned to many, but as I’ve said before, we have also gotten to a point where our society is edging onto rudeness and disrespect due to our casualness. I get that we want to be more inclusive most of the time, but this isn’t one of these times. Again, we really need to think about this: what are people who don’t know your name supposed to call you? I suppose “you” CAN work as something gender neutral, but it just doesn’t sound…polite or respectful. So, for now, I continue to be fine with “ma’am.” And if you have a problem with it, perhaps you should think of something yourself? Just don’t be too critical of women who DO choose this preference. And no, I don’t think your reasons make too much sense.
Image credit: krsmanovic/ShutterStock
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