Over the years, I’ve discovered many other petite bloggers, like Jean Wang (who used to blog under the name, Petite Asian Girl). People like Jean became true blue influencers, even appearing in campaigns for stores like LOFT. I didn’t have that kind of luck, but I STILL stand by the fact that height doesn’t really take much of

We can’t ignore the fact that the fashion world completely dismisses height. Sure, you have petite sections in stores like Banana Republic and Ann Taylor, but they tend to be at the back corner section (and fairly hidden online. They don’t get their own section on the top menu while plus does). Department stores are either getting rid of (some got rid of petites a long time ago) or combining petite sections with regular – a big mistake, in my opinion. I get that they believe it makes people feel more “included” – but that’s really more for a size (as in number or letter) issue, not height. When you’re in a hurry, you’re NOT going to be looking for the letter “P” next to a size, you’re just going to be looking for the number itself. Petites, unlike plus, need their own section and it needs to be better promoted. But like us in general, our voices are dismissed. Maybe tall people just can’t see us (though I know of a very petite size inclusivity activist who only half acknowledges (if at all) the issue).

It’s vital that ALL issues relating to inclusivity be taken seriously and equally. But they’re not. Sometimes, activists will say that they acknowledge them, but in reality, it’s really a dismissal. The question here is why? Especially when SO MANY CELEBRITIES ARE UNDER 5’4″! So you’re not going to acknowledge (and I hesitate to mention her) Kim Kardashian? Reese Witherspoon? Both are around 5’2″ from what I understand. I get that Kim isn’t known for being super-sophisticated, but STILL. They are there, and they seem to pull red carpet looks off well.

So here’s what I don’t understand. As short people, our proportions are different from those who are taller. If designers are able to custom/tailor/make gowns look amazing on a 5’3″ celebrity, why can’t they make RTW clothing for us? Why are we stuck, at best, with mall brands who either regulate things online (just like plus) or in a corner of the store? And at worse, they’re boxy clothing that even women over a certain age (and at 40, I suppose I’m AT that age (or close to it)) won’t touch. And that’s considering how they complain or make excuses about not being able to make things look good on larger people.

For regular store brands, including aspirational lines, premium denim and the like, yes, proportion is an issue. I was at a store recently, trying on a pair of jeans. The pair of jeans was labelled a 24 waist and was supposed to be “super skinny.” Tried it on, and not only was it at least half a size too big (not surprised – premium denim, which typically uses waist measurements, vanity sizes just as much as mall brands), but it certainly wasn’t “super skinny.” It was also pulled up a little higher than it probably should be, showing that the rise is not quite proportioned for someone who is 5’2″ or so with a shortish torso.

So what does the above paragraph mean? That designers who are saying that it’s “hard” to proportion things for larger clients (and thus won’t make anything over a certain size) are okay with people who are my size? It’s technically MORE DIFFICULT to proportion things for US, regardless of height! It isn’t just hemming, after all. This SHOWS that it’s about aesthetics. People my size are more “appealing” to look at based on social conditioning. DUH.

Anyway, as I’ve said time and time again for over a decade, I REALLY WISH body image/size inclusivity activists would look at height issues more seriously. Even if they “acknowledge” the issue by telling us to our faces, they seem to “forget” about us in less than a second. We’ll still be regulated to the back corner or online if no one does anything. It’s a fresh new decade, so let’s make the 2020s about height as well.

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I have have, for one, been open about not having a genetic child/get pregnant for a long time – probably before most celebrities have started talking.  It was more than just disappointing for me when I found out that it wasn’t a good idea due to various health conditions (so technically, my issue isn’t exactly “infertility” in the traditional sense, which is why I prefer “fertility issues”) when I was just 15, but I learned to accept the case and immediately thought of adoption – even when I was still in high school!  However, as I got older, I learned that adoption was not as easy, especially having experienced the process for years with my husband. We then learned more about IVF (in vitro fertilization), surrogacy and the process in Canada, and decided to give it a try.  We don’t have any news to share yet, but we are still very hopeful.

Chrissy Teigen on her struggles to have a baby (via Harper’s Bazaar)

However, whether it’s adoption, surrogacy (we decided on surrogacy due to other health-related issues), going through treatment for yourself or using third party donors (either eggs, sperm or embryo), it’s something that many still keep a secret – especially if a donor is used (I think some celebrities used donors (especially if they’re older), yet they haven’t said that they did).  I know that in some cultures, having actual genetic links is important (it certainly is in traditional Chinese/Confucian societies), and thus, adopted children are never told about their past.  In fact, when my husband and I were considering adoption – especially because we were looking in an Asian country (Vietnam), my parents even asked me whether we’d be telling them.  We were taught in our adoption preparation class to ALWAYS be open about a child’s past and to share the child’s culture, even if it is similar to your own (or in our case, my side).  And we are using the same rule for our child through surrogacy.  It’s just the right thing to do.  Just by saying something like that makes starting families in ways other than the “traditional” method, shameful thanks to “birth parent privilege” (this is a whole other post.  More on THAT soon).

But at least I’m talking about it.  At least other people are talking about it.  I think there should be more – and yes, celebrities being OPEN are helping.  But I don’t think we should rely on those who are famous to talk about it FIRST.  We should be able to do it on our own.  The struggle to have a family but can’t the “traditional” way shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of, nor should people be criticizing you for doing so.  There’s too much unwanted advice (I’ve heard it all myself, but people tend to quiet down once I tell them I have health issues) out there, not to mention shame.  We don’t, after all, criticize people who, say, have cancer.

Video and image credits:  Video via Harper’s Bazaar and image by Tupungato/Shutterstock

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