When I was in my early 20s, people would often ask why I was “so dressed up” and it got really annoying. As if it’s really weird to wear dresses and heels on a weekend. It still happens once in a while now that I’m in my 30s, but never in my area – I live in a part of Toronto where people tend to look “nice” – and the sloppy/over-casual people are probably tourists. I liked dressing up then and still do, especially in the summer and really, I blame the questioning on the so-called “casualization” of society. It’s part of that package where young children are addressing their parents’ friends by first name (sorry, kids under 12, you have to call me Mrs. Mintz, Ms. Cheng Mintz, Ms. Cynthia or Auntie Cynthia until I say that it is okay to call me just plain Cynthia. Actually, PARENTS, please introduce me as one of the four), the world of slouchy pants on males over 25 and so forth. I really shouldn’t have to apologize for this!

Wearing @zorandobric today – it’s the first time this season!! #isupportcanadianfashion #canadianfashiondesigners #canadianfashion #canadianbrands #ootd #wearcanada #canadianbrands

A post shared by Cynthia Cheng Mintz (@cynthiacmintz) on Jun 16, 2018 at 10:41am PDT

 

A typical Saturday outfit 

For young people, it’s only getting worse (I mean, take a look at this article from the Huffington Post – sensationalist, perhaps, but someone MUST believe in this).  I wore a uniform in high school which included a button down blouse that had to be worn tucked in to my skirt (pants were later implemented as an option), a tie, tights or knee socks and black oxfords.  Because so many of us didn’t tuck in our shirts, more recently, the school changed the tops to something that didn’t require tucking and was shorter.  Many other schools did the same thing – except they went from dress shirts to polo/golf shirts.  When worn with pants or kilts, it can look AWFUL.  The kids look like complete slobs and would have been given a talking to in the 90s.  I’m not the only one who has complaint.  I once volunteered with an organization where a guy said that the kids at his high school alma mater look significantly sloppier than they did when he was there.  All because of the more casual uniform.  Oh well, I guess it’s welcome to the 21st century, sadly.

So this brings me back to the original topic.  Because people are so brainwashed to wearing casual clothing (thanks to people like Mark Zuckerberg, known to wear hoodies to work), wearing anything neater than a sloppy t-shirt with jeans, muscle shirts, crop tops, etc… is considered “dressed up.”  And it is sad.  It does nothing to prepare young people for the “real world” – especially if they aspire to work in a professional, office setting.  And because they’re so exposed to looking like they’ve just rolled out of bed (or heading to the club – that is the OTHER extreme), they will be in for a shock.  And no one is preparing them for ANYTHING.  How sad.

The post Old Post from DelectablyChic!: Casualization of the Wardrobe and Apologizing for What I Wear appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

Non-traditional lipstick colours like the turquoise shade above are a big no-no in my books!

So what are my issues?  They’re:

• Super short shorts/skirts on males AND females outside of the pool/beach or while playing racquet sports – my general rule is mid-thigh or longer (it really hasn’t been much of an issue for me since I’m a bit on the shorter side.  And I don’t own short shorts/skirts outside of racquet sports gear anyway)
• Pants where half of one’s behind shows (this mostly applies to guys – I have yet to see girls/women wearing pants like this!  Maybe we just know better)
• Speedo and similar bottoms on guys – unless they’re in Europe, where it’s okay (I suppose)
• Non-religious, safety or uniform headgear indoors (ladies’ dress hats and fangear at sporting events excepted – but only with appropriate clothing.  In other words, suits (or even business casual outfits) and ball caps = BIG FAT NO!))
• Lip colour outside of the nude/reds/pinks/berry/etc ranges.  Basically blue, green, black, etc shades…I am okay with nails in these colours for some reason, however.  Hair?  Well, it depends.  Is it for a sporting event or school spirit reasons?  Halloween?  If not, then NO!
• Bra straps showing on bare shoulders.  Go clear or strapless, please
• PJs in public.  This is probably more of an issue on campus than with the general public (I haven’t been in school for a while, so I’m not even sure if people still do that).  What’s the deal, anyway?  You have REAL clothes.  Wear them to class.  Thanks
• LEGGINGS AS PANTS!!!  Leggings ARE NOT PANTS!  Wear a tunic/longer top (or a long cardigan), for goodness sake!  Unless you’re at home or at the gym, of course
• Guys who look like 80s rock stars – especially if they’re of a certain age.  Seriously, dudes, have you NOT changed your hair since 1985?  You’re 50!  This applies to women as well, but I don’t see too many who do this.  Men are WAY WORSE OFFENDERS
• Speaking of guys of a certain age – seriously, dudes, tight tanks when you’re obviously in need of a good workout and change in your diet?  PUH-LEEEEZE!
• Of course, clothing with obscene language is a no-no as well (I don’t see this very much, thank goodness!!!)
• The OVER-USE OF BRONZER, ESPECIALLY WHEN COMBINED WITH OVER-BLEACHED HAIR.  Certain Hollywood celebs are among the worst offenders
• OVERUSE OF SCENT.  Do people not realize that there are others who have sensitivity issues?  There’s a reason why many doctors’ offices are scent-free
• White bottoms after Labour Day in North America.  Unless you’re a bride, debutante, flower girl, getting baptized, wearing tennis/racquet whites

To be quite honest, I would prefer that everyone just be a few notches more casual than business casual (or “smart casual” as they used to say).  In other words, I’m okay with denim – if it isn’t too distressed.  I actually did not wear denim for a few years.  In university, I was completely off.  In fact, I only wore dress pants/khakis and dresses or skirts to class – and even on weekends!  I’m sure people at school thought I was odd, but I didn’t care.  It was just what I “did.”  I didn’t start wearing jeans again until I was 26 – basically when I started going out with a guy who is now my husband!

I’m sure much of this was influenced by my middle and high school years – I wore a school uniform then.  I considered that to be “normal” and I suppose I expected things to extend well beyond graduation.  I just wasn’t exposed to unusual dress – not even in university (other than all those sloppy dressers – haha) and have extreme difficulty “dealing” with anyone who anyone who strays too far from the so-called “conformist” line.  And I also feel dress codes DO belong in many situations and we shouldn’t be too riled up on the fact that they exist.  But again, that’s just me.  And I shouldn’t have to be shamed for believing so.

Image courtesy of: Elisanth/Shutterstock

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Our society is now SO CASUAL – especially when it comes to clothing – that we believe that “anything goes” is the only right way.  Sorry, but that’s not always the case.  Not everyone works at Google or Facebook (where being casual reigns), or even the fashion industry, where being creative with your style is not only accepted, but pretty much required.  Wearing a full suit would probably look very odd in the social media world just as wearing heels at a construction site would.  Of course, it would be very dangerous to do so for the latter.  It saddens me that some men (including ones who aren’t all that young) can’t even tie a tie properly, simply because they never had to wear one.  *I* know how to tie a tie, thanks to years at uniformed school!  And I’m FEMALE!  Because the general view (i.e. not necessarily me) is that we HAVE to be casual, we criticize any kind of dress code that isn’t for safety reasons (except, perhaps yoga studios that do not allow shoes) and if it targets women/girls for any reason, it’s considered “slut shaming.”  It’s not.  It’s just that women’s clothing can appear too casual (e.g. sleeveless dresses – even suit dresses, when not worn with a cardigan or jacket).  Can you name ONE professional menswear outfit that is sleeveless (vests don’t count)?  I certainly can’t!  Guys’ professional outfits are what I outlined in the first paragraph.  A notch more casual would be a polo shirt, which probably wouldn’t be considered acceptable wear, save for a casual day.

Of course, sometimes dress codes don’t make much sense.  Traditional clubs often have a colour limit for racquet sports.  Many ban large logos and limit colour to 10% of one’s entire ensemble (hey, at least it isn’t like Diner en Blanc, where even your SHOES have to be white (at least the couple of times I’ve been.  You know how hard it is to find white shoes?)).  I follow these rules at the clubs I play at, of course, why would wearing, say, blue or green reflect badly on the club itself? It isn’t like working in finance or an old line law firm, where there is one traditional “look” – suits, suits and nothing but suits.  But even then, various colours are allowed.  If one can wear a blue, black or grey suit, why can’t one wear a green shirt for tennis?  Limiting colour isn’t the same as limiting an entire kind of look.  Besides, these clubs don’t have actual UNIFORMS (where colour limits, of course, make sense).

We, as a society, really need to stop and think.  Is it “slut shaming” EVERY TIME a woman/girl is criticized about what she’s wearing?  Well, it IS in many situations.  However, we must remember that it isn’t ALWAYS the case.  Is it “slut-shaming” if someone is asked to wear a shawl around her shoulders and arms in a conservative church?  I don’t think so.  What about criticizing someone (male or female) for wearing a bathing suit at the mall (actually, I’m not sure if malls will even allow that unless you’re trying something on are part of a fashion show)  There are appropriate times for certain outfits.  And I can’t help but wonder what would happen if a guy turned up wearing something sleeveless.

Image credit: Africa Studio/ShutterStock

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