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This was dropped over a week ago. I’ve also realized that I never post show notes on the blog version, so I’ll start doing so for this episode:

Cynthia talks about looking forward to going to her first in-person Seder since the Before Times and a rant about diversity, identity and feeling shamed about being who she is.

John McWhorter: “I Did Not Feel the Need to See People Like Me on TV or in Books”

Opening Theme: “Progress is Inevitable” by Black Rhomb

Closing Theme: “Landing Place” by Mark July (both courtesy of ShutterStock)

Contact info:

Instagram: @cynthiacmintz

Twitter: @cynthiacm79

Email: talkslife@cynthiacmintz.com

Website: www.cynthiacmintz.com

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The post In Person Passover and another Diversity Rant appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

And also, what DO I sound like? Do you think the way you speak shows your ethnic heritage, even if you don’t have an accent? Do tell!

The post Cynthia Talks Life: Nordstrom Shuts in Canada & Vocal Identities appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

In the short special above, you’ll get to hear how the Lunar New Year is celebrated in the Cheng Mintz household. And yes, it can be a bit non-traditional! Do you follow traditional customs of your heritage or do you do things YOUR way? Is it important to you that things are done “properly?” Why or why not? I’d love to hear your views!

Image credit: AKSPS/Shutterstock

The post Happy Lunar New Year! appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

However, this is NOT what diversity activists seem to want us to think. If you watch any TV show attempting to be more “diverse,” they often emphasize ONLY the old culture, that of their parents, and do not even WANT to mention that the children (even adult children) may think differently, do things their own way that acknowledges both their ancestral heritage(s) and that of the country they were born/raised in. The so-called DE&I “leadership” will never admit that this happens. In fact, they’ll likely just say that we’re too “colonized” and need to be “reprogrammed.” Okay, maybe not the latter term, but you know what I mean. Do they realize how INSULTING this is? Racist, even? I mean, what’s WRONG with them? If you want diversity and inclusion, you HAVE to note that this happens. Unfortunately, I don’t feel that they do. I’ve been personally insulted ENOUGH by these groups. And it’s sad, because I have a lot to offer them. Don’t they want to hear about different experiences?

Anyway, enough on the diversity rant. You hear/read enough of it from me, both on this site and on my podcast (haha). What I want to say is that this way of cooking is by no means about people turning their backs onto their culture nor is it diluting their ancestry. It’s actually quite the opposite. It IS, in fact, emphasizing one’s culture. No matter what you do, you have to admit that the chef’s culture isn’t ONLY that of their parents, but also the culture they grew up in. So if your parents came from Korea and you were born and raised in, say, Manhattan and you own a bagel shop, why NOT have kimchi flavoured cream cheese as an option (well, once the apparent shortage is no longer an issue)? Or, I don’t know, one of my Christmas Day traditions where I use Hong Kong style coconut pull-apart bread for French toast. It shouldn’t be a problem. In fact, I think it’s pretty cool!

Some of these dishes actually come from our own childhoods. We wanted so-called “Canadian” foods, but our parents wanted to make food from their homelands. Most of us end up eating both. Some of us had nice parents/grandparents who made fusion dishes at home, and sometimes for us to take to school. For example (and I probably mentioned this in a Cynthia Talks Life episode), (leftover) soy sauce roast chicken sandwiches for me. The whole idea of stinky “immigrant kid” lunches is a foreign concept for me. And I really think there are more people like me. But then again, it might just be the circle I grew up with. I don’t think any of us had that so-called “typical narrative” that so many in the diversity space want to emphasize.

We talk about fusion cuisine all the time. It’s usually something “elevated,” so why not start calling it something else? Like, oh, I don’t know, CANADIAN (or American/British/Australian/wherever you’re from) food? That said, I can’t wait to try dishes like, steamed pumpkin pie dumplings, apple pie stuffed naan, linguini tossed with char siu and choy sum (even though this is kind of boring-sounding) and the like. Grilled cheese with Peking duck sounds pretty interesting too. And isn’t this so-called NEW cuisine really part of what diversity/inclusion is all about anyway? If you don’t agree, then it’s kind of sad. Culture is meant to evolve, after all. If it isn’t supposed to, then wouldn’t everyone still be eating whatever people in their ancestral heritage ate thousands of years ago? Heck, I don’t even KNOW what people from the area of China my ancestors are from ate 4,000 years ago (and which part? It’s a big country. Most of my family is from the southeastern area (I think), but some are from the north) unless I went to a food museum and they had some sort of exhibit. This kind of fusion only enhances things and makes things more interesting.

NOTE: I realize I talked about this on an episode of Cynthia Talks Life in October. I just wanted to re-emphasize this issue now that REAL MEDIA has acknowledged it!!!

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Cynthia not only discusses how her multiethnic/faith family celebrates December holidays, but also how she, as a child of immigrants celebrated when she was younger.

Is your family multi-faith and/or multi-ethnic or cultural? What are YOUR family traditions? Do tell!!!

Image by Sheila Fitzgerald/Shutterstock

The post Holiday Special: Our Big Fat Multi-Faith, Multi-Cultural Holiday Season appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

Recipe info (four of them are links to older posts on this site):

Cin Cin Mien:  A Dan Dan Inspired Dish 

Kefir Soda Bread 

Cacao Oat Cookies (this is a cacao version I made over the holiday season in 2020, using oat bran rather than rolled oats) 

The OG two ingredient oat/banana cookies recipe (from Ambitious Kitchen) 

Pumpkin Mooncakes (you can use the same recipe to make squares so it’s not an issue that we’re out of season) 

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The plan is to drop regular episodes twice a month, on the first and third Tuesday. Once in a while, you might see a shorter “special,” which can come any day of the week. I hope you enjoy this one!

The post Episode 1: On Being a Child of Immigrants appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

Recently, my little guy, age 21 1/2 month, started calling dogs, “woe-woe.” Now, this isn’t an uncommon term toddlers use in Cantonese. However, I want him to ALSO know that the PROPER word in Cantonese is “gow” (I’d also like him to say “dog”/”doggy” and “chien”). But no one else – other than me – has really tried to emphasize “gow.” I *THINK* he’s getting it. My guy is a very smart kid. He recognizes colours and can even say some of them, and recognizes most objects. He just won’t say them (when I was his age, I knew at least 100 words. My parents claim that I was able to recite (parts of) the Ballad of Mulan. Sure, but did I know what it meant? No. I just knew how to repeat the sounds. And real word sounds). And with COVID, we can’t get any hearing tests to make sure it’s not hearing-related.

Using different types of baby words isn’t really the main issue. I’ve talked time and time again on social about feeding. My philosophy is to encourage him to feed himself – even if it means moving the plate or bowl far from his chair and him reaching for his food (that’s his new “thing”). The older generation? Spoon feeding. And purées at that (there’s also “tum sik” – it’s not exactly force feeding, but it’s a bit more extreme than the airplane method. It often involves adding, say, a piece of fruit (or cheese) with a savoury item to get a child to eat more. A fellow CBC doesn’t think there’s an equivalent term in English. And you can tell I’m NOT A BIG FAN OF THIS). My goodness, the boy will be TWO in October! He should primarily be eating bite sized foods. I’m almost ready to teach him how to use chopsticks! At least they’re not trying to get me to make him congee. He’s had it but it’s not his primary source of carbs. And don’t get me started on plant-based proteins (I get criticized about that too). Or vegetarian/vegan meals (some don’t get that plant-based doesn’t necessarily mean healthy. Would you call living on a steady diet of vegan poutine, healthy?). But that’s a whole other issue in itself (and I’ll post about that another day).

Some people might look at this as generational only, but there’s quite a bit of cultural conflict as well. And I’ve found few resources on this, not even people’s blogs – especially if it’s more ethnic/heritage-specific (and when I do, it’s almost always about older children or adults looking back at their childhoods. And usually, they come from families which are way, way more old culture than mine (I recently read a post where a guy (ABC (American Born Chinese)) said that for punishment, he was forced to kneel in front of ancestors to beg for their forgiveness. I have SERIOUSLY NOT HEARD OF THAT BEFORE). And I completely understand why. In most Confucian-influenced cultures, being open about this is, well, airing dirty laundry. You just don’t (I know that I just did, but I really don’t care). I’ve brought this up on some mom groups on Facebook, and one woman suggested that I see a therapist. Maybe I DO need to see one to discuss this, but that therapist might not be of much help, not even one from my own culture.

Someone said that I should see his calling dogs “woe-woe” rather than “gow” as a blessing, considering that my son’s speech is a little behind others his age (his other new words are “bah” for black and “boo” for blue). But I don’t know. He’s nearly two, and still says around 10-12 words at most. I’m trying, but I’m unsure if he is as well. According to sources, late talkers might be poor spellers and readers. He also has a short attention span, so reading, other than when he’s already in bed, can be difficult. He prefers to move. I don’t know if I should be concerned about ADHD just yet, however.

Sometimes, I feel like my parents want him behind. From criticizing on how he eats (i.e. not being spoon fed if he stops eating on his own), to how they talk to him and even doing MORE for him than I know he can. Is it cultural or is it just a grandparent thing (i.e. it’s their job to spoil him)? Or do they think he should have a more carefree toddlerhood, without the stress of trying to meet or be ahead of milestones? I DO get that part. My parents often say they regret not redshirting me, keeping me behind a grade in school. I don’t really know if that would have necessarily been a good idea.

In any case, I know that some people would say that I should honour my heritage and allow more of this kind of exposure. But my question to these individuals is this: WHY? You know who you are, and you seem to want to separate people rather than unite them. In fact, sometimes, you’re not even allowing us to speak up. These days, there seems to be a certain agenda and only people who follow that agenda are heard. But that too is for another post on another day.

To be honest, I should be grateful. I should be grateful that the clashes I have with my family, especially when it comes to how one should raise a child, isn’t as polarized as some. At least my parents are mostly fine with the age-appropriate independence I’m encouraging. It’s really more of the feeding and the kind of baby talk that I’m not a fan of. I’m not trying to rush/pressure him to do things. I’m not quite a tiger mom. But there’s so much pressure as a parent when I see that he’s not like other kids his age. I mean, we all want what’s best for our kids and for our kids to succeed. And the difference in opinion my parents and I have can be stressful. Especially when it seems cultural.

Image by: Andi Arman/Shutterstock

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Some say that because I’m Asian, the kind of discrimination I can face is “different,” but not everyone in my ethnic community grew up in suburban comfort with the stereotypical extracurriculars such as music lessons and summer enrichment camps (or trips back to the old country) while growing up. Some had parents who ran small businesses just to make ends meet. Not everyone is a child of a doctor or engineer, nor did everyone grow up with English-speaking parents. Heck, I know suburbanites whose parents barely speak English. And I don’t mean Gen Xers and millenials who now live in the suburbs. I mean people my age who grew up there, yet have parents who struggled with language. I suppose the good thing is this: Here in Toronto and depending on ethnic background, one CAN get nearly every service in their ancestral language. I know that for Cantonese speakers, one can DEFINITELY get by speaking ONLY Cantonese for a full week (or these days, a month). Is that even fair? Why aren’t we offering more services so people can practise their English? And if we’re supposed to be encouraging more diversity and ending systemic discrimination, why can’t we talk about this?

I’ve been dismissed time and time again, even before Black Lives Matter was a blip on the radar. Somehow, I’m just a whiner, something nearing a “Karen” (no offence to women named Karen). The truth is, we NEED these kinds of services. We also need programs to help new Canadians/immigrants navigate certain systems, maybe even “unlearn” some beliefs, such as mental health awareness. As I noted a few years ago, the destigmatization of mental health awareness in (many) East Asian cultures is far behind the mainstream. Many people STILL believe that it’s a curse to the family (well, it’s TRUE that some issues are genetic, but sweeping it under a rug doesn’t change anything. It’s still hereditary). And, of course, telling strangers about your inner problems, even in private, is just airing dirty laundry. These kinds of habits need to be unlearned. If one culture can do this, so can others. It’s not discrimination to do this. It’s NOT trying to “mainstream” someone. But somehow, people think otherwise. It’s unfortunate.

I get this is sensitive. I get that we really need to watch HOW we do this, so that it doesn’t sound like we’re dictating and trying to tell other people what to do. But sometimes, things need to change, and often, policies and the lack of services, especially services to help people change beliefs aren’t happening BECAUSE we’re being too sensitive. It’s a double whammy. We can’t sound like colonialists, erasing cultures of certain groups, YET, certain groups are behind in the need to change (see my mental health comment above). What makes things worse is how some cultures look down on certain careers. For example, if being a doctor is considered a “good thing” in a certain culture, yet, this person decides to go into psychiatry, he or she might be viewed as “less” than, say, a cardiologist or GP. To that, I say, WTF. But hey, no one’s listening, so #whatever.

Without culture-sensitive services, nothing is going to change, and there may STILL be a lack of services. So what do we do, just wait a few generations until more people just become integrated? Survival of the fittest? We can’t do that. But like I said, no one really cares about this point. The most vocal of activists right now have their own agenda and the rest of the world is just hopping on THEIR bandwagon and not other people’s. SIGH.

Image credit: VectorKnight/Shutterstock

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