All the talk about diversity makes me wonder:  How would people see me if I ran?  Sure, Canadians seem to rely less on sob/determination stories – people who come from backgrounds which required them to struggle to get to where they are – but I know that it’s there.  We, too, complain about various levels of government NOT representing the population and views of the population.  And while I’m ALSO a child of immigrants, my upbringing was a complete 180 of Ms. Ocasio-Cortez.  There is NO sob story (actually, I’m not sure if I COULD refer to Ms. Ocasio-Cortez’s childhood as all that sad.  It certainly was better off than, say, Bill Clinton’s based on what I’ve read).  Not at all.  Unless you count my health issues and MAYBE the fact that I didn’t speak English until I started school.  However, the latter is kind of stretching it a bit.

I may have the whole “child of immigrants” to help me, but is my background really ALL THAT REFLECTIVE of a “typical” child of immigrants – or at least how the media would like to see someone who was raised in an immigrant home?  Mainstream media LOVE to talk about certain ethnic groups and their experiences with economic struggle.  Both my parents held management to executive level, white-collar jobs.  I had more than I needed and I have to admit that I didn’t “struggle” growing up – other than perhaps not having the best grades or being that so-called “ideal Asian child.”  But that’s not something people would want to play up.  Yet, if I played down my so-called “privilege,” I wouldn’t be my “real self,” would I?  I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do.  They want diversity, but I’m not the KIND of diversity that the public probably wants to see (though I may “fit in” to “tradition” more due to knowing some of the so-called nuances that some people from other backgrounds may need to learn while on the job.  It’s the whole “rain in Spain” thing, I suppose – if you want to put a My Fair Lady/Pygmalion reference to it).  But would that make me “diverse” enough?  It’s one thing that many so-called “diversity activists” don’t seem get.  I may VISIBLY be able to make things more “diverse,” but my views might not “fit” the kind of narrative they’re looking for.  Unless they’re thinking about a female perspective.

If I *WERE* to run for office (likely locally.  And not for the upcoming municipal elections as it would be JUST AS my surrogate is due.  There’s NO WAY I’m going to be able to handle politics with a new born baby.  In 2022, this child will be in JK, so it COULD work), how would people even “see” me?  Can I REALLY use my ethnicity as a marker of “diversity” when I feel more at ease speaking English and moving in an English-speaking world than my ancestral heritage?  People talk about “code switching” and feeling more at ease within the ethnic community they grew up with.  I don’t know if I code switch at all.  I actually feel LESS comfortable in Chinese-speaking communities because I always worry that the older generation is judging me for being “jook sing” and that they KNOW I’m going to do something stupid/improper (since the community is all about being proper) due to the fact I’m a westerner of Chinese descent.  For example, if I ask about ingredients in a certain dish (as in “what’s in this?”), the answer is often “good stuff!” (translation:  You stupid Canadian!  If I tell you, you’d be grossed out) when all I want to know is if there’s anything in there which I could be sensitive to.  If I asked the same question to someone who is, say, Anglo-Protestant, he or she will likely tell me.  I realize that the “good stuff” answer isn’t exclusively a Chinese thing, but an old world thing – many kids and even grandchildren of immigrants get this kind of response (some Canadian-born generation adults still do this.  It really depends on how influenced from the old culture they are.  It disappears by third generation – usually, anyway).  Still.

I have to admit that I am probably more at ease within my ancestral community than people who weren’t raised in it (especially because I speak “passable” Cantonese), but that doesn’t necessarily mean I represent the diversity narrative so-called activists look for.  And I think that can be an “issue” for them as they see me as “less” of an “ideal” diversity representative than someone who was raised in a socio-economic background closer to Ms. Ocasio-Cortez’s.  To these people, “ideal” means you are female, of a non-white, Anglo Protestant heritage AND someone who grew up socio-economically disadvantaged.  I might fit numbers one, two and three, but the final point is BIG (but pro-diversity activists will NEVER admit to it because class discussion is supposed to be hush-hush).  It means the candidate is better able to relate to REAL struggle, and if I may use that term again, “the narrative.”  Otherwise, I’m only able to “visibly” contribute to diversity and just another “over-privileged brat” and “one of them.”  Not really a good thing.

This post was meant to be honest.  I am in no way trying to sound like a snob (if that’s how one interprets the piece).  I know and I admit my advantages – probably more so now as an adult than when I was younger.  I still make my mistakes and assumptions, of course, but I will apologize when I do.  No one is perfect, after all.  However, my upbringing DOES make me wonder (and yes, I know that I shouldn’t care and just consider running if I feel like it and can get the support).

Image By Lorelyn Medina/Shutterstock

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Highlights from the Healthy Minds Canada lunch and learn.  The full panel discussion, which is an hour long, can be seen here.

The issue regarding mental health in Asian communities has long been bothering me.  It goes back to the Virginia Tech shootings (2007!), where the shooter was of Korean descent.  They brought up his ethnic background a little, and definitely discussed mental health, but I felt that it was a good time to bring up how SOME cultural communities treat mental health.  I realize ethnicity is always a very sensitive topic – especially when it comes to violent crimes – but I was surprised that very little of it was discussed on news shows.  I have also been told by some family members that depression is not a “real” condition, but merely a “middle class invention.”  Most are from older generations, those who’ve been through the Second World War or those born soon after.  They talk about how the war and subsequent decades – probably until the mid 1960s – meant that there “was nothing to be happy about,” and yet, they survived.  That now that we are so privileged, that we should just “deal with it.”  Really?  We’re just complaining?  Are you SURE you weren’t depressed?  Or for those who lived through the war, suffering from PTSD?  Then there’s immigration, ranging from the stress of adapting to an entirely new country to career issues (e.g. not finding a job in your field) and discrimination.

It isn’t only a problem with the immigrant generation.  Children of immigrants, whether they were born in the west or came as very young children often face conflicting cultural ideals – having to deal with what is acceptable in their heritage culture which may or may not clash with what is considered appropriate in Canada, causing a great deal of stress.  However, it’s just not discussed because it’s not a “problem” that “good East Asian families” face. This “stiff upper lip-ness” is astounding and the very reason why there are problems within the communities.  The hiddeness of the very existence of mental health conditions is very real, and there are studies which show that those of various East Asian backgrounds seek help at worse conditions than those from other cultures.  I’ve brought up the very topic before, but was dismissed each time – until this year when I spoke with Healthy Minds Canada.

I’m really glad I organized the event.  In fact, I felt a great deal of relief immediately after – even if I’m unsure of whether the point REALLY got across.  As I don’t read any East Asian language nor do I watch television in said languages, I am unsure of whether there was any media coverage.  I hope there was.  And I hope to see more people – especially those with a great deal of influence within the community (including celebrities, both here and in the old countries) – open up and say that they’ve had personal experiences.  Only that way will it become more okay.  And only then will these communities start catching up.

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