WRONG!  First, our drinks came.  My husband ordered orange juice and I asked for a cappuccino (so he didn’t remember who ordered what?  I thought servers were supposed to have a good memory.  That’s why some don’t even write things down).  Sure, the drinks were correct, but he was about to hand ME the juice when we corrected him.  Okay, that doesn’t REALLY count as a mistake.  Then, the food arrived.  I asked for a meatless version of the breakfast, with salad as the side.  Guess what they gave me?  Both the salad AND potatoes.  I’m not a fan of potatoes – especially hash browns/breakfast potatoes (roasted is okay in small amounts.  And I’ll have latkes at Chanukah just for the spirit of it.  Otherwise, please give me sweet potatoes.  YES, that’s how I take my poutine).  *EYEROLL*  I mean, the guy DID write it down.  Or did he?  He then said the kitchen put both.  Well, when you actually TELL the server that you wanted salad and NO potatoes, then it’s something the kitchen SHOULD know.  I mean, it was on the slip, right?  They shouldn’t automatically ASSUME, just because you didn’t want meat.

Maybe I’m just being a little too spoiled.  I mean, the food was more than okay (even if they skimped a bit on toast.  I got one slice, split into half triangles).  But really, you really don’t need to ask twice, do you?  It would have been better if he repeated what he wrote down to make sure the order was correct.  Of course, I was in a bad mood at the time – I was already starving, thanks to our original plan not working out (this was our second restaurant.  The first place no longer serves weekend brunch – something I didn’t find out until I arrived.  The place is dreadful with social media, so I wouldn’t have known unless I actually went to their website and scrolled down to see that their brunch menu was no longer live).  At least the server wasn’t rude (although he didn’t seem too happy when I asked for jam.  He was like “I’ll see if we have any”)?

NOTE:  I wrote a review of the place on Yelp, so (hopefully), the restaurant knows about this experience.

Image by: Jennik/Shutterstock

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Some women say it makes them feel old.  Sorry, but being called “ma’am” shouldn’t do that and I think you must have some weird self-confidence issues if you do because I don’t see anything age-related to such a reference.  Others say it has to do with sexism – kind of like using the antiquated “Mrs. Husbandsfirstname Husbandslastname.”  I don’t see that either.  I don’t see how “ma’am” (or madam – okay, maybe “madam” can have negative connotations due to you-know-what, but still…) is any different from being a “Ms.” similar to the male equivalent of “Mr.”  I mean, if men are addressed as “sir,”  and are okay with it, then shouldn’t we all feel the same about “ma’am?”  Again, it’s about respect, and until we can find an equivalent for both “ma’am” and “sir,”  we just have to stick with the two.

Of course, this might have to do with our increasingly casual society, where honorifics, like RSVP-ing (a survey recently found that 38% of Americans don’t think RSVPs are necessary anymore (and I don’t think it’s all that different in Canada)) and dress codes are no longer “required.”  Pardon my language and rudeness, but WTF??!!!!!  Why DO we feel this way?  I don’t really don’t understand HOW it makes some people – particularly women – feel uncomfortable and WHY it makes people think it’s sexist.  This is especially the case for those who believe being called “Ms.” is okay.  If you’re fine with that, why aren’t you okay with “ma’am?”  As I said earlier, it’s neutral and doesn’t show whether you’re married or not.  I don’t even know WHY it ages you.  I assume you want to be called “Miss?”  Very young women (like someone who appears to be under 25) and girls are called “Miss.”   Miss is someone you card when ordering alcohol!  Besides, there’s no real male equivalent (unless you’re talking about Miss Lastname.  The male equivalent would be Master Lastname – an honorific which is somewhat antiquated.  My peers only know the title from watching Fresh Prince).

I know I can come across as old fashioned to many, but as I’ve said before, we have also gotten to a point where our society is edging onto rudeness and disrespect due to our casualness.  I get that we want to be more inclusive most of the time, but this isn’t one of these times.  Again, we really need to think about this:  what are people who don’t know your name supposed to call you?  I suppose “you” CAN work as something gender neutral, but it just doesn’t sound…polite or respectful.  So, for now, I continue to be fine with “ma’am.”  And if you have a problem with it, perhaps you should think of something yourself?  Just don’t be too critical of women who DO choose this preference.  And no, I don’t think your reasons make too much sense.

Image credit: krsmanovic/ShutterStock

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