I feel like the most vocal and powerful in the inclusion and diversity field feel that there can only be one narrative, and if you don’t fit that, you’re “cancelled,” or at least, edited to the point that it’s not even your story anymore (if you want details, see my letter to the editor in the Toronto Star). These days, I just cannot sit through any kind of discussion identity and oppression without having someone criticize me (and not in a constructive way), telling me that I’m “white washed” or “brainwashed” to the point that I need some sort of detoxification (that’s my term, not theirs). What’s wrong with them? Do I really need to lecture them about post-Second World War Hong Kong, how the influx of refugees escaping communism (and closure of the border) not only allowed Hong Kong to become what it is today (or, at least what it WAS before the National Security Law was passed). Do I really have to explain why my parents’ English language education (note: not every child had an English language education back then. Grandparents on both sides made a choice to educate their kids in English. It’s like Anglophone parents sending their kids to French Immersion, or even a school run by the Francophone board (this would be closer to what my parents had in Hong Kong)) made it easier for them to integrate into Canadian society? Goodness! And all of this is stressing me out. Sometimes, it even makes me anxious to say anything because I don’t want to come across as being someone who is not being so-called “inclusive” herself. Sometimes, I don’t think I can even talk about food I make! After all, someone might see me as bastardizing/appropriating SOME culture, right? Or at least, I have to Cynthia-splain everything (like I did for a noodle dish I made in February). And when I DO explain, people tell me I have no self-esteem. WTF? If I don’t, people can (eventually) cancel me, depending on who they are.

As you can see, it’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t. And when you’re part of a “marginalized” (gawd, I hate that term) group, you’re apparently SUPPOSED to be radical. When you’re not and you’re a little more conservative (and especially if you’re English-speaking), you apparently can’t exist (see this situation). No wonder people need therapy. I see a therapist myself, and he’s suggested that I should continue to blog and/or create videos (I’m not bothering with YouTube for myself since these days, you need to have really professional-looking material. I’m just sticking to my phone camera and IGTV)! It’s good release/stress relief for me. And hopefully, I can get the message across. I’m still a little anxious when I post, however. Because you never know if and how you’re going to be attacked. Even this post is good for me. As it’s mental health awareness month, I really want to say everything I want to say. So far, anyway. Plus when someone criticizes how I identify with my heritage because it’s not up to their “standards,” then they have a problem. If I make Chinese style dumplings with apples or fried riced cauliflower (or quinoa), then I should be allowed to. I’m NOT ashamed of my heritage. You don’t HAVE to celebrate your heritage the most “traditional” way. What do people who DO criticize like that have to say about Japanese milk bread, Korean macarons or Hong Kong milk tea.

I do find it sad that many people refuse to understand or accept that this can be part of inclusion and diversity. The diversity of thought, that is. Here in Canada, we have the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, which is entrenched in our constitution as of 1982 (when it was patriated back to Canada, meaning we no longer needed British Parliament’s permission to make any changes). So my views are considered “hate?” How? Some people aren’t that bright. And their behaviour and bullying online can be even worse. These are (almost always) adults. Why are they behaving like they’re in Grade 7? Or even two year olds (I have a toddler and I know what a meltdown looks like. Sometimes, activists – ADULTS (or almost adults)!!! – behave exactly like that)? It really needs to stop and we really need to encourage intellectual debate and discussion. Otherwise, there’ll be nothing but stress, leading to everyone’s mental well-being to worsen. Sad. And it’s taking a toll on people’s mental health. What good is it when you stress about what you can/can’t say or whether what you’re doing is honouring or bastardizing your heritage?

Image credits: First image is by OneSideProFoto via Shutterstock; Second is a video I created and posted on IGTV

The post Anxiety, Stress and ‘Identity Politics’ appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

WRONG!  First, our drinks came.  My husband ordered orange juice and I asked for a cappuccino (so he didn’t remember who ordered what?  I thought servers were supposed to have a good memory.  That’s why some don’t even write things down).  Sure, the drinks were correct, but he was about to hand ME the juice when we corrected him.  Okay, that doesn’t REALLY count as a mistake.  Then, the food arrived.  I asked for a meatless version of the breakfast, with salad as the side.  Guess what they gave me?  Both the salad AND potatoes.  I’m not a fan of potatoes – especially hash browns/breakfast potatoes (roasted is okay in small amounts.  And I’ll have latkes at Chanukah just for the spirit of it.  Otherwise, please give me sweet potatoes.  YES, that’s how I take my poutine).  *EYEROLL*  I mean, the guy DID write it down.  Or did he?  He then said the kitchen put both.  Well, when you actually TELL the server that you wanted salad and NO potatoes, then it’s something the kitchen SHOULD know.  I mean, it was on the slip, right?  They shouldn’t automatically ASSUME, just because you didn’t want meat.

Maybe I’m just being a little too spoiled.  I mean, the food was more than okay (even if they skimped a bit on toast.  I got one slice, split into half triangles).  But really, you really don’t need to ask twice, do you?  It would have been better if he repeated what he wrote down to make sure the order was correct.  Of course, I was in a bad mood at the time – I was already starving, thanks to our original plan not working out (this was our second restaurant.  The first place no longer serves weekend brunch – something I didn’t find out until I arrived.  The place is dreadful with social media, so I wouldn’t have known unless I actually went to their website and scrolled down to see that their brunch menu was no longer live).  At least the server wasn’t rude (although he didn’t seem too happy when I asked for jam.  He was like “I’ll see if we have any”)?

NOTE:  I wrote a review of the place on Yelp, so (hopefully), the restaurant knows about this experience.

Image by: Jennik/Shutterstock

The post Restaurants NEED TO LISTEN! Servers AND the Kitchen appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

The pins aren’t always about inspiration.  Sometimes, it’s just so I could save something (like a recipe, for example) for future use.  There’s a club soda bread I haven’t made in years, so I searched online to find it.  Rather than bookmarking or saving the link in my notes, I decided to pin.  It’s easier to find recipes that way (rather than my rather stupid method of just posting links).  You may still have to scroll if you have a lot of pins, but at least the photos will help.  There are other things I’m pinning as well, such as ideas for possible redecorating.  I’m not really looking to re-do anything soon as we spent a great deal of money re-doing our kitchen in 2016.  Minor things make sense, of course, such as painting or acquiring artwork.  Some of our walls are a little…bare…I suppose the upcoming One of a Kind Show may give me some ideas as well.

It’s interesting how Pinterest (or Instagram) has been helping me.  That doesn’t seem to be the case for other people – at least from what I’ve read.  Facebook on the other hand…Ugh!  As I’ve said in other posts, both here and on DelectablyChic!, I really don’t want to give Facebook up – not yet, anyway.  It’s where I get A LOT of my news!  And where I communicate with many people I don’t see too often (it’s just too bad most of my family isn’t super-active…or on it at all).  But the whole point of de-stressing is to make one feel happy, right?  And if inspiration based on recipes, decor and vacation spots make me feel happy – especially if I’m able to share them myself (which I can’t on Instagram), then that’s a good thing…right?

Image by: tanuha2001 /Shutterstock

The post Pinterest and All That appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.