Here in Canada, we have something called the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, a document which is entrenched in our constitution. This document celebrated its 40th anniversary last year. According to the Canadian government’s website, section two, which lists our fundamental freedoms as Canadians guarantees the freedom of media and press. Of course, you can’t explicitly target groups or individuals with hate, but I’m worried that the line on what really DOES constitute hate broadens to a point that we can’t even say what we want to say anymore. We’re getting there. I know many people (myself included) who don’t want to be boxed in because of our ethnicity, but worry that if we talk about how we celebrate our heritages, would be told that we need to “decolonize our thinking” and start thinking from the perspective of people of our background. Huh? What does that mean, our “background?” Everyone has a different background. My background is different from my parents, both culturally and generationally. We have different experiences. My parents and I might share a genetic background, but our experiences are different. But sometimes, I worry about saying something wrong/not PC by today’s standards. I think we all are. I’m not even sure if I’m allowed to have a perspective at all. I was heavily critical of Girl Guides of Canada changing “Brownies” to “Embers” (at least they didn’t use “Comets,” which I was not happy to see make the final list) as well as Ryerson’s change to Toronto Metropolitan University (why didn’t they use a name of an Indigenous person of historical signifacance?). I was very open about it and thank goodness I’m not a celebrity. I’d probably have been kicked off social/cancelled! If we truly want equity, shouldn’t we be looking at the REAL issues? Like, for example, language challenges that many immigrants face? Mental health of their children who face stress and anxiety because they straddle two cultures? Why does one have to be so careful when they ask how someone can bridge two cultures, to help the two cultures understand why they feel a certain way (e.g. culture one has very set gender rules and cannot understand WHY one identifies as non-binary (and to be honest, I STILL don’t fully understand it myself). Or simply how to explain that students in Canada are expected to speak up in class and why it’s important for them to do so. There are times when we should be allowed to be critical of other cultures). Why do we (or rather, DE&I groups) forget that they have two cultures? I want to (and will) continue to discuss this in an open manner, and not have people stop me from doing so because my views don’t fit the current “woke” narrative. One of my biggest peeves is how we discuss social class. But that’s for another article or podcast.

Sure, the Charter still guarantees me my right to talk about it, but for how long? And when are we going to stop being so sensitive (Mother’s Day is coming up and this is the first year I’ve seen emails about opting out of receiving Are going to get to a point where we’re interpreting the Charter in such a way that one might no longer be able to do so? We’re already destroying history. Why do we want to cancel figures who are now considered racist (or sexist, or anything ___ist)? Why can’t we learn from mistakes, or discuss why we now see it as wrong? I studied post WWII China in university as a history major. The Cultural Revolution AWFUL and CRUEL (and I’m being nice about this). Traditional Chinese culture, something that is thousands of years old, was basically, well, CANCELLED (that wasn’t all. There was also a human-created famine). If we’re not careful, we’re heading towards this kind of society. And with inflation, sure, there’d be a “famine” as well. Historical figures, be it Aristotle or Confucius, had views that would be considered wrong by 2023 standards. Yet, without them, our modern cultures would NOT exist. We can’t erase these guys from the books just because they said something that would be considered “cancellable” today. A lot of people don’t seem to understand this. And these people have a lot of clout. Enough to influence governments. I worry about what we can and cannot say in media in the future.

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Speaking of borders, it’s not just a state border issue. A few states who’d likely directly be affected by the reversal border Canada. Who’s to say that someone from Michigan wouldn’t go to Windsor to have the procedure done? And there are only so many providers with so many appointments. If there’s an influx, wouldn’t that take appointment times away from people who live in the Windsor area? Or in Ontario, for that matter? This goes for those done domestically within the US, as well. People are also going to go to other states. It’s interesting that I have yet to hear that part being fully addressed – they’ve only talked about it being possible that people in need of the procedure could be charged anyway, even though it’s legal in the state or country where they had it done. Of course, stopping the Supreme Court from actually overturning the law is of utmost importance.

There’s also the medicated issue. I just heard a podcast where one of the speakers talked about pills and how easily they could be purchased online, perhaps illegally without a prescription (though they’re more likely going to try to get it done via telehealth, and under VPN, if needed). Is that even safe? How would one even know that it’s legit? I mean, I’ve purchased supplements such as Vitamin D online, but they’re supplements and from legit health food stores. Dark web? Sounds scary to me.

Some will say that it’s about state’s rights and a state’s right to decide what’s right for its people. But what if ISN’T the right thing? What if people THERE actually want something to be available? And then there’s corporate money. If businesses move away due to these issues, then these states’ economies will tank. And people living there who were already not doing too well will fare even WORSE. Do they REALLY want that? Fewer people living there means fewer people paying taxes. Fewer people paying taxes means fewer services. It’s a downward spiral. I suppose people don’t use their heads very much. And that’s all over the world, not just in the US.

I’m not usually the person who accuses others of being out-of-touch. In fact, I’m often the accusee, believe it or not. But in this case, I’m echoing just about the entire world. Or at least, my world. And really, what does life begins at conception mean? If the law was reversed, what happens to all those embryos in labs? Many more embryos are created than transferred, which means many are left unused if families don’t decide to donate them to other intended parents or to labs for scientific research. Are those not lives? Does that mean that embryos can either be donated to intended parents or left in the deep freeze, so to speak? And they can’t be sent for scientific research because it means a life is being killed? When does life begin? Of course, people, regardless of which side of the debate they sit, don’t think about these embryos unless they’ve experienced IVF, either as an observer or someone who went through the procedure.

Anyway, I’m not an expert in this area, but I DO know that we need to mind our own business and let people decide for themselves as to what they want to do – in this situation (and others, such as equal marriage…of course, in the case of marriage, the two parties must be of age), especially. So it’s important to make sure that this doesn’t happen in the US, here, or anywhere in the world. Other parts of the world are liberalizing, not going backwards.

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The plan is to drop regular episodes twice a month, on the first and third Tuesday. Once in a while, you might see a shorter “special,” which can come any day of the week. I hope you enjoy this one!

The post Episode 1: On Being a Child of Immigrants appeared first on Cynthia C. Mintz.

What I know, however, is this:  Neither Canada nor the United States (and probably other countries as well) do a very good job in helping immigrants integrate.  We have low benchmarks in terms of language skills, despite our points system.  And I think the outright fear some people have of newcomers make them nervous, so they also become nervous and, thus, hold on to their cultures even MORE.  Every immigrant knows that there’s a “time warp” – people often hold on to what was was “the thing” when they left.  So if people leave their birth countries in, say, 1985, they STILL think it’s 1985 in terms of what was considered their culture.  They don’t realize that THEIR countries have also changed unless they REALLY keep up with how things have evolved (i.e. they fly back to their homelands, say, every other year).  However, it’s now 2018 and there’s something called the internet.  Just talk to people.   I’m sure many would be shocked to find that that their homelands have changed, culturally speaking.

At the same time, there’s the issue with cultural sensitivity.  It’s gone too far, in many cases.  People who’ve been there longer seem to feel that they have to tread VERY CAREFULLY around newcomers so that they don’t insult them.  It’s to a point that some are surprised, shocked, even, that there are people like me who are “more integrated” than they think.  And they make comments about how it’s “wrong” because we’re “losing touch” with our heritages.  WTF??!!!  It’s how we were raised, and often, part of our culture (e.g. I have both a Chinese and a western name, something very common in Hong Kong culture (blame colonialism).  A woman once asked me WHY I choose to call myself “Cynthia” over a cultural name and that I should opt for a cultural name instead.  Ummmm, Cynthia is my legal name.  Okay, I CHOSE Cynthia after legally being Cindy for years, but still…my parents gave me two names.  It’s still MY CULTURE.  And yeah, she commented on losing touch.  WTF, WTF, WTF again).  If anything, blame my parents (and in many ways, I didn’t feel all that integrated when my grandmother told me only “bad Canadian kids” (read: multigenerational Anglo kids) went to school dances.  To the point that I didn’t go to my Grade 8 dance so that I could prove to my grandma that I was a “good girl.”  I really wanted to).

I really don’t have any answers on how we SHOULD be integrating except that it can’t come from elected officials only.  It has to come from EVERYONE.  However, I don’t know exactly what we CAN do, since it’s very difficult to encourage people who’ve been here more than a generation – especially over-sensitive multigenerationers – to accept that some newer arrivals are just more integrated (or stop them from complaining about those who aren’t integrated at all).  And that they need to accept that rather than question WHY they’re more integrated (I DO find that people who question tend to be no more than second generation, but from a different culture.  They’re also older and likely experienced MORE discrimination when they were growing up).  At the same time, newcomers need to be less critical of people who’ve been here a while and less critical of their children who might be more integrated.  Sorry, but they’re going to school here, and especially in a city like Toronto, will be exposed to people of many different backgrounds.  Including those from backgrounds which people in your homeland are at war with.  A child DOES NOT deserve to be grounded just for becoming friends with a kid from such a background.  I’m not saying this happens (though it very well COULD), I’m just using it as an example.  And if they start speaking only English to each other?  Well, that happens too.  Just make sure they still understand and know how to speak their ancestral language.  At the same time, Canada, at least, needs to stop categorizing people like me, who learned Cantonese first, in the same box as my parents.  I still speak passable Cantonese (enough to order food at a restaurant and perhaps describe symptoms to a doctor if needed.  I am, however, illiterate.  English is my PRIMARY and DEFAULT language.  I’m essentially Anglophone and identify as such.  Come on, that’s the language I was educated in.   I DO think it’s so they could inflate the number of people who are NOT Anglophone or Francophone to make the country look more “diverse,” linguistically speaking and that’s unfair.  You can’t equate me with someone who not only SPEAKS Cantonese, but also went to school in the language and can read enough of it to write a simple journal entry.  Just say that we speak more than one language, okay?

I really wish there was some way we can just do something to improve understanding and decrease criticism.  However, I’m not sure it can ever happen.  What do you think?

ETA: Benchmark meaning I’m basing this on my personal experience as a child of two university-educated (my dad also has two master’s degrees from Canadian schools), English-speaking parents who came to Canada in their early 20s.  Parents who did not work within their own ethnic communities.  Parents who tried hard to give me a good balance of both Hong Kong and Toronto cultures and kept up with what was “in” and “out” back in the old country, even before the internet existed.

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I hope everyone has an amazing day!  And to those of us in Toronto and Ottawa, STAY COOL!!!!!

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BuzzFeed video featuring immigrant parents and their American-born (or raised) children on pursuing their dreams

I don’t really blame my parents.  I think they just wanted me to be successful, and they probably didn’t really understand the PR world too much at that time.  Now that I’m almost 40 (turning 39 in September), I’ve pretty much given up on a PR career.  Especially in fashion/beauty (because you age out of this.  At my age, you’re either already in, or you’re not.  If not, too bad.  You can’t change NOW).  In any case, I blogged in that world for a few years and never felt that I fit in.  I’m not exactly a super high maintenance sort.  I’ve never coloured my hair (unless you count spray painting for school spirit reasons) and rarely get manicures (I DO get pedicures somewhat frequently, especially in the summer).  My lipstick collection mostly fall in the “safe” colours – nudes, browns and berries, mostly lightweight/creams.  I’ve tried wearing bright red lipstick, but I’ve just never felt comfortable.  Must be all that conditioning at BSS (I mean, I was never, ever the one with uniform violations)!

The video above also discusses what the parents dreamed of doing.  Some of their stories sounded like dreams children often have, like being a firefighter or teacher – because those are the careers kids are exposed to at a young age.  So I’m not surprised that they mentioned them.  I’m also not too surprised at the fact that the parents ideas for their kids.  Many struggled to ensure their children had a comfortable, middle class style upbringing, and worked VERY HARD to do so.  Many worked long hours, whether in a restaurant or in white collar jobs.  While I wouldn’t say my parents “struggled,” – we always had a proper family dinner around 6-6:30 PM – they DID want the best for me.  And that included career choices.  PR just wasn’t an area where I could easily make six figures before the age of 30, unlike banking (anything STEM-related was out after I failed to take any advanced science courses in my final year of high school.  I did take math, so to them, finance was STILL an option).

As for what I’m doing now – I’m pretty happy with my current choice of working in the philanthropy world.  I want to make things better for others – it’s actually one of the reasons why I joined Brownies and Guides as a child and the Junior League as an adult (notice that all three organizations are female-only).  And unlike a decade ago, when I wanted to work in PR, my parents are perfectly fine, even encouraging me in my career.  They really love the idea that I’m helping to improve society.  I think my work with Healthy Minds Canada’s discussion on mental health in East Asian communities really contributed to them changing their minds.  And in the future?  Who knows?  I’m going to continue to write, but my main focus will be related to philanthropy and improving lives of others.

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My family has NOT been in Canada long compared to others.  My parents are immigrants and arrived here in the 1970s while I was born here.  Because I’m first generation, there was CERTAINLY conflict from a cultural perspective, but I’m grateful that my parents are much more understanding and integrated, relatively speaking, and therefore, my childhood was much more “Anglo Canadian” than many other kids.  The whole concept of “stinky lunches” that people speak of is a bit foreign to me.  At the same time, I wasn’t completely unaware of my ethnic heritage (I know how to speak Cantonese, for example, and am probably more knowledgeable of Chinese history and culture than many of my CBC (Canadian born Chinese) peers).

My upbringing was a good balance of Hong Kong Chinese and Anglo – and I’m glad that this country allows this.  It’s a privilege not to be shamed for keeping aspects of your heritage while still integrating.  Being more “mainstream” (read: “Anglo” in this case) doesn’t mean you’re forgetting your background (no matter what SOME diversity “experts” or “activists” seem to believe (and yes, I’ve been “shamed” by these individuals!!!! Half are immigrants/kids of immigrants themselves)), and being allowed to share it with others makes the country richer.  In fact, sharing and borrowing to create something new makes Canada.  I take NO SHAME in, say, making quinoa or cauliflower “fried rice” or sweet dumplings filled with apples and drizzled with maple syrup (no matter what my parents might think).  I don’t consider it bastardization or appropriation.  It’s just…Canadian…just like poutine and butter tarts are Canadian.  At the same time, I’m glad this country allows me to keep aspects of my heritage, including language (though, to be quite honest, Mandarin is far more important than my heritage language, Cantonese) and customs (not that I actually follow many of them).  Of course, things aren’t all rosy here and I acknowledge all our own problems of hate past and present (an issue EVERY COUNTRY HAS).  But we are still a rich country in terms of heritage and acceptance.

Anyway, happy 150 years of Confederation to this beautiful country of ours!  May we be all the more accepting and open to the world for years to come.

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