I’m the first generation in my family to be a Canadian born Canadian. My parents came here a few years before I was born. I recently saw a BuzzFeed video featuring adult children of Asian immigrants to the United States who talked about pursuing their dreams and how they differed from what their parents wanted them to do. It was something I really related to. Like these “kids,” my “dream job” was nowhere NEAR what my parents wanted – at least I’m pretty sure of it. I wanted to be a well-known and well-respected PR executive. I even found an amazing internship, a one year contract (with very little pay, but I was living at home anyway) at a bank (and thought it was going to be perfect/ideal), but my parents thought otherwise. They persuaded me to take on something else (I think they wanted me in finance – specifically investing. I was even criticized a few times for not even considering the industry. No, it’s a stressful area – more so than what I wanted to do). I left before the end of my contract, but didn’t stay at the next job too long. It just wasn’t me. And I think I wasted several years of what could have been an amazing career.
BuzzFeed video featuring immigrant parents and their American-born (or raised) children on pursuing their dreams
I don’t really blame my parents. I think they just wanted me to be successful, and they probably didn’t really understand the PR world too much at that time. Now that I’m almost 40 (turning 39 in September), I’ve pretty much given up on a PR career. Especially in fashion/beauty (because you age out of this. At my age, you’re either already in, or you’re not. If not, too bad. You can’t change NOW). In any case, I blogged in that world for a few years and never felt that I fit in. I’m not exactly a super high maintenance sort. I’ve never coloured my hair (unless you count spray painting for school spirit reasons) and rarely get manicures (I DO get pedicures somewhat frequently, especially in the summer). My lipstick collection mostly fall in the “safe” colours – nudes, browns and berries, mostly lightweight/creams. I’ve tried wearing bright red lipstick, but I’ve just never felt comfortable. Must be all that conditioning at BSS (I mean, I was never, ever the one with uniform violations)!
The video above also discusses what the parents dreamed of doing. Some of their stories sounded like dreams children often have, like being a firefighter or teacher – because those are the careers kids are exposed to at a young age. So I’m not surprised that they mentioned them. I’m also not too surprised at the fact that the parents ideas for their kids. Many struggled to ensure their children had a comfortable, middle class style upbringing, and worked VERY HARD to do so. Many worked long hours, whether in a restaurant or in white collar jobs. While I wouldn’t say my parents “struggled,” – we always had a proper family dinner around 6-6:30 PM – they DID want the best for me. And that included career choices. PR just wasn’t an area where I could easily make six figures before the age of 30, unlike banking (anything STEM-related was out after I failed to take any advanced science courses in my final year of high school. I did take math, so to them, finance was STILL an option).
As for what I’m doing now – I’m pretty happy with my current choice of working in the philanthropy world. I want to make things better for others – it’s actually one of the reasons why I joined Brownies and Guides as a child and the Junior League as an adult (notice that all three organizations are female-only). And unlike a decade ago, when I wanted to work in PR, my parents are perfectly fine, even encouraging me in my career. They really love the idea that I’m helping to improve society. I think my work with Healthy Minds Canada’s discussion on mental health in East Asian communities really contributed to them changing their minds. And in the future? Who knows? I’m going to continue to write, but my main focus will be related to philanthropy and improving lives of others.
