Anxiety, Stress and ‘Identity Politics’

All the talk about identity and inclusion is causing me stress and is also making me anxious. These days, I’m not even sure what I’m allowed or not allowed to say. And it seems that everything and anything can make SOMEBODY upset. I don’t even understand how we can possibly be inclusive and embrace other cultures (or views) if we can’t even be open. It can lead to increased mental distress, not that things are all that great right now. What’s the deal, anyway?

I feel like the most vocal and powerful in the inclusion and diversity field feel that there can only be one narrative, and if you don’t fit that, you’re “cancelled,” or at least, edited to the point that it’s not even your story anymore (if you want details, see my letter to the editor in the Toronto Star). These days, I just cannot sit through any kind of discussion identity and oppression without having someone criticize me (and not in a constructive way), telling me that I’m “white washed” or “brainwashed” to the point that I need some sort of detoxification (that’s my term, not theirs). What’s wrong with them? Do I really need to lecture them about post-Second World War Hong Kong, how the influx of refugees escaping communism (and closure of the border) not only allowed Hong Kong to become what it is today (or, at least what it WAS before the National Security Law was passed). Do I really have to explain why my parents’ English language education (note: not every child had an English language education back then. Grandparents on both sides made a choice to educate their kids in English. It’s like Anglophone parents sending their kids to French Immersion, or even a school run by the Francophone board (this would be closer to what my parents had in Hong Kong)) made it easier for them to integrate into Canadian society? Goodness! And all of this is stressing me out. Sometimes, it even makes me anxious to say anything because I don’t want to come across as being someone who is not being so-called “inclusive” herself. Sometimes, I don’t think I can even talk about food I make! After all, someone might see me as bastardizing/appropriating SOME culture, right? Or at least, I have to Cynthia-splain everything (like I did for a noodle dish I made in February). And when I DO explain, people tell me I have no self-esteem. WTF? If I don’t, people can (eventually) cancel me, depending on who they are.

As you can see, it’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t. And when you’re part of a “marginalized” (gawd, I hate that term) group, you’re apparently SUPPOSED to be radical. When you’re not and you’re a little more conservative (and especially if you’re English-speaking), you apparently can’t exist (see this situation). No wonder people need therapy. I see a therapist myself, and he’s suggested that I should continue to blog and/or create videos (I’m not bothering with YouTube for myself since these days, you need to have really professional-looking material. I’m just sticking to my phone camera and IGTV)! It’s good release/stress relief for me. And hopefully, I can get the message across. I’m still a little anxious when I post, however. Because you never know if and how you’re going to be attacked. Even this post is good for me. As it’s mental health awareness month, I really want to say everything I want to say. So far, anyway. Plus when someone criticizes how I identify with my heritage because it’s not up to their “standards,” then they have a problem. If I make Chinese style dumplings with apples or fried riced cauliflower (or quinoa), then I should be allowed to. I’m NOT ashamed of my heritage. You don’t HAVE to celebrate your heritage the most “traditional” way. What do people who DO criticize like that have to say about Japanese milk bread, Korean macarons or Hong Kong milk tea.

I do find it sad that many people refuse to understand or accept that this can be part of inclusion and diversity. The diversity of thought, that is. Here in Canada, we have the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, which is entrenched in our constitution as of 1982 (when it was patriated back to Canada, meaning we no longer needed British Parliament’s permission to make any changes). So my views are considered “hate?” How? Some people aren’t that bright. And their behaviour and bullying online can be even worse. These are (almost always) adults. Why are they behaving like they’re in Grade 7? Or even two year olds (I have a toddler and I know what a meltdown looks like. Sometimes, activists – ADULTS (or almost adults)!!! – behave exactly like that)? It really needs to stop and we really need to encourage intellectual debate and discussion. Otherwise, there’ll be nothing but stress, leading to everyone’s mental well-being to worsen. Sad. And it’s taking a toll on people’s mental health. What good is it when you stress about what you can/can’t say or whether what you’re doing is honouring or bastardizing your heritage?

Image credits: First image is by OneSideProFoto via Shutterstock; Second is a video I created and posted on IGTV