I know I should be grateful. I have a comfortable home, a loving family and always food on the table. But things really aren’t that great. I haven’t been too happy. And I’m sure many people can relate. It’s a COVID thing. To an extent.
I haven’t really been going out too much. Fear of getting sick is the major factor. These days, I really don’t go out very much. Twice a week, max. Compare that to pre-COVID days when I’m out basically EVERY SINGLE DAY. I went to fitness classes (and I miss them a great deal). I went to the grocery store every day (yes, I “old world shopped”). These days? I’m working out from home and grocery shop at stores when I leave the house. My son might come with me, but even HE isn’t getting out too much. My husband and I brunched every weekend back in the day. We still do, but it’s delivered to us.
I’m not feeling good. I mean, I’m PHYSICALLY fine. I’m still exercising daily. I eat well. Heck, I think I’m eating better NOW than I did back in the beginning of the year. I’m cooking more. But mentally? Nope, not that great. It’s not just COVID that’s affecting everything. Things are changing so quickly politically and philosophically that my brain just can’t keep up. Okay. There. I said it. I’m not WOKE. I am not READY to be WOKE the way people seem to want me to. Maybe it’s because so-called diversity activists don’t seem to understand my voice. And I don’t understand why. I’m coming from a child-of-immigrant perspective. Isn’t this SUPPOSED to be something which SHOULD be included?
I feel like the immigrant (or child of immigrant) view is largely being ignored. I mean, some groups are not getting the services they need and have the right to have because, well, they aren’t being served linguistically. I know this isn’t really an issue (for the most part) for my heritage community (or whatever the proper term is) – the Cantonese speaking population is HUGE here – but that isn’t the case for everyone. And even for Cantonese speakers, there ARE services which might be lacking as there may not be many people in those industries who speak the language well enough (I speak PASSABLE Cantonese, but I’m unsure if I’d be good enough to be an interpreter. And I’m Chinese-illiterate anyway (please don’t shame me)). Why is this the case? Well, it could very well be due to parents PRESSURING their kids to go into certain industries (are we allowed to talk about this?). It isn’t necessarily a systemic thing. Of course, the so-called “WOKE” people would never admit that. And frankly, that’s kind of sad.
Yes, right now, we ARE being more open about our mental health. But that focus is very much due to COVID. And being open about mental health is very much an Anglo-Protestant sort of thing. Many communities in Canada still have a “tough it out” mentality (though it’s getting better). Now, my parents are very integrated compared to the “typical” immigrant (working outside of the community and having had an English language education back in the old country helped) and are more open about mental health awareness, but that isn’t the case for everyone (remember my post on Asian culture and mental health awareness?). However, it seems like this isn’t part of the narrative. At all. Diversity-focused activism is very much centred around anti-Black and anti-Indigenous bias, not taking into account various immigrant and child-of-immigrant experiences. In fact, at times, many seem to assume that talking about anti-Black and anti-Indigenous biases will automatically erase other sorts of bias. NOT TRUE. This is like making gluten-free pizza crust available so “everyone” can have pizza. Gluten-free doesn’t mean “everyone” can have pizza. What about Keto? Or are, for one reason or another, abstaining from over-processed grains (because a gluten-free crust doesn’t necessarily mean whole grain crust!!!)? So unless that gluten-free crust happens to be made from cauliflower, you aren’t accommodating EVERYONE. And it’s frustrating, mentally, especially when people seem to dismiss or deny that it’s an issue. And that seems to happen. A LOT.
So combined with COVID, being trying to be “WOKE” and reading posts on social about being WOKE/”how sad” things are, etc, etc…AND to be told that all issues can be covered just BY being WOKE when it isn’t always true just makes things more stressful. I try to laugh it off, especially when it comes from people going out of their way to be PC, but no, it’s not fun. And when those who try TOO HARD really come off negatively, offensive, perhaps (I’ll get into that another time). And when you deny that you ARE, you aren’t giving others a chance to give their perspective.
So once again, how am I doing? NOT GREAT. And society is to blame for that.
